justed that craziest dream. and it taught me that christmas belongs to all of us because all of us can find something in it to be angry about. you there, boy? >> yes, sir. >> >> jon: what day is it? >> today? why, bit christmas day, sir. >> jon: then it's not too late. here, take this. take this coin. >> i will. thank you. [laughter] how did you ever become quarterback? >> jon: how did i ever become quarterback president? >> i got it right here, sir, lovely coin. >> jon: take this and go buy me the biggest peking cut in all of china town. >> that i will, sir, that i will. >> jon: then you and me are having chinese food and going to the mother [bleeped] movies. >> really? >> jon: yeah. >> quick question, sir. may we go see "jack reacher," sir? >> yes, absolutely. >> old man stewart. >> jon: it's going to be the best christmas for a jew, ever. >> mazel tov, guv'nor, mazel show. now, if you looked at the calendar today or talked to anyone, you know it's a very special day, 12/12/12, the day the mayans prophesized as the beginning of the shift that culmination in the end of the world on 12

-- (laughter) last show. our guest tonight my niece kristen leibowitz will be joining us-- i'm sorry, stewart. she must have changed it. i want to thank everybody, boy, that 12-12-12 concert last night, everybody that much wad, everybody that participated, everybody that says you have no idea how it boyd the spirits of everybody there. it was just-- it was good. thank you so much. but let's begin tonight with the discussion of marriage. as you know marriage is under attack. so much so that our congress passed a defense of marriage act. and president clinton signed it into law because it was the '90s and everything was ironic. (laughter) the defense of marriage act protected marriage from the scourge of no fault divorce and economic volatility and family care issues that put so much strain on marriage-- i'm kidding. it was about gay people. it protected marriage from gay people. in fact, gay people are considered such a threat to marriage that in addition to a federal defense of marriage act many states have enacted constitutional amendments banning the practice, including our most populous st

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